I am not particularly ready for a batch of puppies, anymore than I am ready to have more of my own children. Isaac asked me tonight when we will breed them and I about had a panic attack thinking of 10 little puppies running around. I know it is a good idea to let your kids have at least one batch of puppies, especially when they are this cute, but, with my life, maybe in a couple of years. As for myself, as much as I would love to have another baby, I feel rather determined that I am done with that phase of my life. My oldest is about 12 and my baby is over 3 now and the other 3 in the middle are spaced out rather evenly. My two youngest are giving me a run for my money. If they would have been as easy as the oldest 3, I might go for it, but that is not the story, oh no not at all. I am sure it is my fault though. :) Yesterday my baby was sitting on my lap in Sacrament meeting at church and pulled the funniest face I have honestly ever seen in the history of my life, and some how it triggered something in me, and I started laughing so hard but of course could not laugh out loud 'cause we are in the church, and tears were streaming down my face like a river! I could NOT contain myself. It was rediculous! for real I could not stop and the tears just kept coming. I can't figure that out. Why does that happen when you can't laugh out loud so you hold it in and the water comes out of your eyes. Lily looked up at me and noticed that I had lots of tears coming out of my eyes but I was laughing and she could not figure it out. She got all concerned for me (rightfully so) I was like an idiot! She said why are you crying mommy? I could not stop laughing to tell her. Wow! I think all of the insanity of the months came to the surface and all it took was the combination of the two events, funny face, and church, and boom it all came out. I am glad it happened that way and not stubbing my toe and falling on the ground like a baby and crying my eyes out 'cause I was so mad and in such pain. Kids are great. I have the best ones on the planet. It is amazing how much love you can feel for family. I wish they did not grow so quick. I really am starting to feel old. This last year has aged me a great deal. I still feel like I should be 18 but am far from it. 40 feels way to close. I think I am going to start running again. Last summer when we did a half marathon, I felt young again, but now I feel old again since I have not been running for so long. I loved those days waking up at the crack of dawn to go running. I felt so youthful and lively and I loved grounding myself with Mother Earth. She is so grand and friendly. It is really good to get to know her. She is a great teacher of all God has given us. Well I am glad to write a bit and hope that I can kick it into gear and do it again this week. Who knows, I might even commit to become a by-weekly blogger. Hugs and kisses to all!
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